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After long time two ladies meet, one of them holds the cake.
- How are you?
- Good, good.
- Do you have birthday today?
- No. It's for my husband's secretary.
- Does she has a birthday today?
- No, but she has a perfect figure! -
Monday morning, office, near coffee machine two coworkers having a chat:
- ..You know... every Monday I feel myself as Robinson Crusoe
- Why?
- I miss my Friday a lot... -
What is the difference between batteries and a woman?
- Hm... well... Batteries have negative pole. -
Manager hired a new secretary, few days later his wife approaches her:
- I hope you are not going to be as aggressive as previous secretary?
- Who was a previous secretary?
- Me -
Conversation between young secretary and HR:
- Miss, do you know what is EXCEL?
- Of course!
- What is it?
- Garment size! - Proudly responds secretary. -
Why blonde secretary types on the printer word document with blank pages?
- Because her boss asked her to bring an unpacked package of pepper. -
Wife of the senator complains to her secretary:
- Katy, I am so disappointed... I think Michael sleeps with his secretary...
- You are a liar, old cow! You are telling me about it, so I would become jealous!.. -
Boss yelling on his new secretary, who on numerous occasions did not respond to his phone calls:
-Mary! If you want to continue working here - you need to answer the phone!
- I tried so hard, Mr. Kelly - but they were always asking for you! - Secretary responds in tears. -
After long day in the office boss tell his secretary:
- I had such a tough day today, call my chauffeur and ask him prepare the car. I want to go to my farm and take a horse ride.
- Hurry, while you were on the meeting your horse called three times! -
Two friends:
- Is your new secretary a blonde? If she is, then she is not very smart.
- Well, previous was brunet, very smart but when she left, she took half of my business with her! -
Boss to his secretary:
- What are your doing on Sunday?
- Nothing - she responds with a flirt in her voice.
- Then let me remind you that today is not Sunday! -
Two friends in the office:
- How is your new secretary'
- She is almost blonde
- Do you mean she has red hair?
- No, she is a brunet, but she is so stupid -
Young secretary is late for work... Her manager, an old lady who was never married, reprimands her:
- Miss, you are 40 min late...
- Sorry, Ms. Bolden, but if you would have such an orgasm, you would never made it to work. -
Secretary is late for work for an hour. Her boss:
- Your day starts at 10 am. Now 11 am, why are you late?
- Well, while I was walking, somebody was following me
- So what? Nothing happened, he did not touch you! What is your problem?
- He was walking so slowly.... -
Very, very slow secretary very, very slowly types.... Customer anxiously asking:
- Miss, can you do anything faster?
- Yes, I'm getting tired very, very fast -
Young secretary is watching how her boss taking sofa out of his office. She fearfully asking:
- Am I fired? -
Advertisement in the newspaper:
- Secretary who types very slowly, is looking for a very stuttering boss. -
Boss to his secretary:
- How did you manage to delete so many files with contracts?
- Well, you were asking to remove dust from the board for so long... so I did... The dirtiest button was button "Delete"... -
Boss yelling on his secretary:
- What do you think, if I took you to the restaurant, spent night with you, so you don't need to work any longer!?
- Yes!
- Who gave you such a stupid advice?
- My gynecologist and a lawyer! -
Tomorrow we have Sunday - says young and very nice looking boss to his secretary
- Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
- No - answers secretary, thinking: "What if..."
- Good, it means that on Monday you will be on time. -
Boss to his secretary:
- I know that you are writing love letters at work, but why are you bringing them to me for signature??? -
Wife to her husband:
- Dear, you are working so much, that even in your dreams you calling your secretary! -
Two friends in the office:
- Bill, what happened? You don't look good!
- My wife found me a new secretary!
- Blonde or brunet?
- Bold!! -
Secretary asks her boss:
- Dear, why your wife is looking at me so suspiciously?
- Because she was my previous secretary! -
Dear, where from this blonde hear on your pants?
- Probably I cached in the train.
- I think it came from your blonde secretary...
- No way! I always take off my pants!